Yesterday was a glorious, majestic day. Due to a 2-for-1 special, we booked tickets to that apex of classiness, the Medieval Times….restaurant? Dinner theater? I’m not sure how to classify it. I guess their website refers to it as “Dinner and Tournament.”
So, yeah. It’s dinner theater. For the SCA and Renaissance Fair crowds. And children. What I can tell you is that it is most definitely not geared toward a thirtyish childless couple. Still, we were in the mood for some cheesy entertainment, and for a total of $70, came out about the same or cheaper than dinner and a movie.
My husband is not particularly a fan of the Medieval Times commercial enterprise. He also doesn’t enjoy RenFaires. I am often openly mocked for my love of both. What can I say? I dig the pageantry. I love horses. I love swords. I enjoy giggling at men who have hair longer than I could ever hope to grow my own coarse, curly frizznest. It’s just plain fun.
In anticipation of the silliness we were about to take part in, I decided to spend some of yesterday afternoon putting together some illustrations for you all. You see, Missie over at The Unread Reader posted a hilarious diagram in her Flap Off post about elevator etiquette, and rekindled my love for crude Paint pictures. They are the BEST. I love Paints! I feel like they even the playing field for illustration capabilities. There’s only so much you can do with a Paint program.
So, without further ado…
If you don’t know much about Medieval Times, here’s the gist: Dudes with long hair on horses are knights who fight each other in elaborate staged sequences. There are also some dressage displays and hand to hand combat, but the most exciting bit is always the joust.
In the joust section, the knights take turns pretending to knock each other off their horses. They are very good at taking dives. They violently fling their shields and gracefully swoop their legs over the horse’s back and leap into a beautiful tuck-and-roll. Ooooh. Ahhhh. The horses always looked a bit freaked, though.
The meal is part of what justifies the high price of admission. You aren’t allowed silverware, but you do get quite the haul: soup, garlic bread, half a roasted chicken, a spare rib, half a roasted potato, dessert, and two glasses of Pepsi (it’s “Medieval” Pepsi, as our server jokingly pointed out). You can also get a cup of coffee at the end. Let me tell you, that food is good. They bring it around in courses as the show progresses.
We were so hungry by the time that chicken came around that we gobbled it all. And though they don’t actually serve your beverage in goblets, they were much easier to draw, and my husband thinks I’m weird because I prefer to drink out of, and use the word, “goblet.” Sometimes a girl just likes to feel fancy, okay?
We ended up having a lot of fun. We cheered for our knight while wearing our stupid paper crowns. We booed the other knights when they beat our knight. We admired the horses and ate good food and let ourselves be kids again. Or as they might say at Medieval Times, “A most glorious time was had by all.”
Don’t forget to enter my Huntress/Hunted by the Others/Waterfall giveaway! Open internationally and ends tonight!
Logan E. Turner 